Mommy Guilt

On occasion I get the Mommy guilts. It doesn't happen too often -- but every once in a while I feel like maybe I'm not doing so great with this mothering thing.  I think it's a pretty common thing to second guess yourself as a parent and to feel guilty if you violate the mommy standard you hold yourself to. Chances are that standard is crazy high and nearly impossible for anyone to meet. But, it's there. I know it stems from me wanting to do the very best I can with Gia and give her every opportunity possible. But, I'm only human and there are definitely days when I'm not at my best.

There are two things that are repeatedly on my "list".

Number 1 on that list is tv. Gia loves TV and frankly, so do I. Before the holidays Gia was watching way more tv than I wanted her to watch. I was sick and it was just plain easier to turn on the tv than play a matching game with her or set her up with some paints. So, the tv stayed on a lot. When I felt bad about the fact that she spent too much time with the tv on, I'd rationalize it by telling myself that she's very verbal, loves to be active, and loves to play outside. It's not like she's withdrawn and will only watch tv.

But still, deep down, I knew better. At 2, she should barely be watching any tv at all.  I also noticed that the more the tv was on, the less she truly watched it. Although it became just "background noise," she wouldn't let me turn it off. Yet, she wouldn't really engage in any real playing while it was on either. And, she ate like crazy when the tv was on. She'd ask for snacks all day long.

In the grand scheme of things, I knew that Gia would be just fine. She'd grow up and learn to read and write and type on a computer--it's not like tv was going to suck her brain right out of her head, but that didn't mean I didn't want to change our habits.

Let me stop here for a second and say that in no way am I judging how much other kids watch tv. If it works for your family, I'm all for it. My only point is that all the tv was not working for my family.

So, we started Project Play With All The Toys We Have. Now, when we come downstairs in the morning, we have breakfast and then we play in the playroom--and the tv stays completely off for hours.  The result has been awesome. Gia hasn't missed all that tv one bit. She has rediscovered toys that she forgot she had and she's becoming a lot better at independent play. I can set her up with a toy and she'll amuse herself for 20-30 minutes. All she needs is occasional encouragement from me and she plays, plays, plays.

Gia playing with her new magnetic dress up Princess toy.

She still asks to watch Mickey or Doc (McStuffins) every once in a while, and of course we let her, but overall, we're doing great.


The other thing I feel guilty about most often is what Gia is eating. I'm constantly worrying about her diet. Is she eating a wide enough variety of foods? Is she eating too much junk?  Like most kids she loves sweets. Back in November, while I was taking a shower, Gia found her Halloween candy, which I had high up on the hutch. Jon had moved the dining room chairs so our electrician could install our new chandelier and in doing so, he pushed the chairs right up against the hutch. Gia rarely gets into trouble when I shower, except that sometimes she does. That day I came downstairs and she'd eaten 1/2 a bag of skittles, 3 Hershey's kisses, 1 peanut butter cup and a pack of smarties--all before 9 am! Whoops! I had to laugh...and snap this hilarious picture of her showing me the rest of the Skittles (which I promptly took away from her).

Luckily, Gia also loves every single fruit and vegetable known to man. She's a great eater and, as she gets older, she's willing to try so more things. She loves chicken, lentils, yogurt, natural applesauce and plenty of other nutritious foods. She also really enjoys chocolate, ice cream, cupcakes and cookies. But, this one's actually an easy fix. Usually if she's asking for junk, I can offer her blueberries or strawberries or one of those fruit pouches (all 3 of these things are her all-time faves) and that gets her mind off the junk. And then, on occasion, I give in and let her have a little treat. Life's too short to eat fruit all the time.


 If you're a mom, what do you feel guilty about?

Potty Training Update

6 weeks ago I posted here about potty training Gia. We did the 3 day method and had very very quick success. But, I was scared about the next steps. Here's what I said then:

"I wasn't really sure what to do after Day 3 was over. How was I supposed to get her into underwear? The method says bare bottomed for 3 months and only loose clothes when we go out. (The theory is that underwear feel too much like diapers, thus causing them to have more accidents.) I wasn't sure that was realistic for us though. Would she have accidents? What would I do when we went out for long periods of time?"

The day I wrote that post we had a few of my favorite girlfriends over--with their husbands and their kids, who are all Gia's age. I didn't know what to put Gia in that day. I knew I should keep her bare bottomed as long as possible while we were at home, but I didn't want her running around half naked with guests. So, we settled on a dress with no underwear on. There were a few 'Britney Spears flashing the papparazzi' moments that day, but my friends had a good laugh about it.

The next day we went to a baptism over an hour away and I broke down and put a pull up on Gia. The long car ride and the excitement and a bunch of other kids around for her to play with was just going to be too much. I encouraged Gia to tell us if she had to go potty. And while we were at the baptism we tried sitting on the potty, but she didn't go. She did use her diaper though.

So the next day we were back to bare-bottomed at home but with a more realistic plan to our day. (This was day 6 of training.)  I'd get everything all ready and then right after Gia went on the potty, we'd literally run out of the house and do whatever errands we needed to do. We did this the next 3 or 4 days and Gia did not have an accident. I was always prepared with underwear and new pants in my bag, but we never needed them. 

And after that we were "over the hump" so to speak. We kept up with the same schedule for another week or so--as soon as Gia went on the potty we'd leave the house. Eventually Gia learned to pee on command and now we can tell her to go potty before we go out, rather than waiting till she has to go. She doesn't always want to go, but that's a different story.

All of this is not to say that we didn't have our fair share of accidents. Bowel movements were an issue for a little bit. No matter what we did, Gia kept pooping in her underwear. We watched her like a hawk and she'd still find two seconds to sneak off and go and then tell us about it. We'd clean her up and calmly remind her that poopy went in the potty and she'd repeat it. I know she understood because the peeing was not an issue. But, it kept happening.

So, for a little while, we went back to the bare bottom method in the mornings, until she pooped on the potty. Then her clothes went back on and all was well. We had a few days of success with this method and Gia was SO proud of herself. And that helped us turn the corner. She learned the feeling of having to do that kind of bodily function, and now she's got it. She'll run to us and say "I have to do pee pee" or "I have to do poo poo".

Being in new situations is still a little tricky. She's not too fond of public bathrooms and I can't blame her. They're dirty and I'm constantly telling at her "don't touch ANYTHING". The toilets are huge and they flush on their own which scares her.  It's tough to get her to pee while we're out, even when she tells me she has to go. But thanks to a few pieces of candy, we're getting over that too. And, when we're at someone's house, she's often having too much fun to stop and use the potty. On New Year's Eve we were at a friend's house and she peed and pooped on their floor. I don't think mortified is a strong enough word for how I was feeling. But, since then we've gone to other friends' houses and she's peed on their potty. So, we'll get over that too.

Potty training is a work in progress. At this point, 6 weeks out, I'd say Gia is 95% trained. Every day we encounter new situations and the more success Gia has with each new moment, the more she truly understands being trained.  The 3 day method was a great way to jump start the process and I encourage you all to try it. The best part about it for us is that it gave Gia bunch of successes and that set her up for these next few months of trial and a few errors.

 And here's some cuteness because it's Flashback Friday. This was taken nearly 2 years ago at Gia's 6 month old photoshoot. It's one of my most favorite pictures of her, like, ever.

Bath Time

Gia loves the water and that fact alone is enough to convince me she's not actually my kid -- because I hate water. I don't like to swim, I hate the rain, I hate to wash my hands, and I don't even really love the shower. No fear, I do the last 2 things all the time. Even though I hate them, I know what good hygiene is :) 

 So, my little water baby just amazes me. She loves everything to do with the water--pools, the ocean, bath time, water tables, and she even loves to wash her hands. I frequently find her in our bathroom, standing on the tiny garbage can, washing her hands. And, on her first day of school, the director of her preschool had to shut off the water supply in her classroom because Gia couldn't stay away from the child-height sink they have in there. She washed her hands 2 times before I even left!

A few months ago I was in Babies R Us buying a gift and I bought Gia a pack of Bath Fizzies. They color the bath water and I knew she'd get a huge kick out of that. But the package said "not for consumtion". They also contain something that makes them taste bitter to discourage consumption. So in the garbage they went. There is no way I can completely keep Gia from putting the bath water in her mouth and who knows what chemicals are in these things if they aren't supposed to be consumed.  (Yes, I know it's gross. We're working on it.)    So I thought, why not use food coloring? And the Green Bath was born.

Gia had so much fun. I put three drops of food coloring and some water in one of those little cups that come with liquid medicine and let her dump it in the water. I didn't make the water too dark because I didn't want to turn her skin green.    

  A few days later I got even more creative. I made blue food colored ice cubes. And now we put a few of those in the with the green bath water. INSTANT bath time fun. The best part is these are way cheaper than buying the special fizzy things and you don't have to order them or go to a baby store to get them. You probably have food coloring around the house.  

      Here are some other awesome bath time fun ideas:  

1. Give your kids shaving cream to play with.

2. Give them different sized spoons and a variety of containers. Gia loves to stir her bathwater. It keeps her very busy.

3. Get them a cheap strainer and let them make it rain. 

4. Change up the toys. Let your kids bring in things that aren't "bath toys" but can still get wet. 

What are your favorite bath time things to do?