I know I've said it a bunch of times these past few months: I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like.
Well, here's the real reason:
I've been busy baking a little bun in my oven! Gia is going to be a big sister!
The past few months have been really, really rough. I was nauseous all.the.time and it's much harder being pregnant when you have an active 2.5 year old to chase around. But, I'm 12 weeks today and I'm hoping the yuckiness is on it's way out.
So even though I wasn't posting much, I have been diligently blogging about this pregnancy these past few months and I have so many posts about our journey to baby #2. I can't wait to share them with you!
My husband is an excessive cleaner-outer. He loves to get rid of things. Purging, he calls it. He is constantly holding up random pieces of paper or small parts to one of Gia's toys or the last bite of a sandwhich on my plate, asking me, "Do you need this? Are you done with this?"
He's even neat with his electronics. He likes to delete his call log and his text messages at the end of every week too, so that his phone is nice and neat. (If you're about to tell me that I should be suspicious of this behavior, you clearly haven't met my husband.) He also loves to clean out saved shows on the DVR.
I'm the opposite. I'm a saver. I'm a "what if I need it one day?" kind of girl. Gia has only been in preschool for 3 months and I've saved every single piece of artwork she's done during this time. I know one day I'll have to get rid of some it and just hang on to the really special pieces. But, for now, I'm content with keeping them all.
Well tonight I was taking a page from my husband's book and I decided to clean out the DVR and get rid of all the shows on there that I've watched or that I never intend to watch. I thought I was deleting an old episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show and instead I deleted an old episode of Rachael Ray. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
This was "our" episode of Rachael Ray. The one that Gia and I were on, back in 2010 when she was just 6 months old. The episode that survived on our DVR for nearly 3 years and through a move. The episode that Gia hasn't even seen yet and, at two and a half years old, she'd get such a kick out of seeing her baby self on t.d. (aka t.v.).
When I realized what I'd done, I nearly freaked out. My stomach dropped and I almost started to cry. I sent a frantic text to my husband and he called me right away, telling me not to worry. A few phone calls later and I discovered that my mom still has it on her DVR. Next time I'm there I'm going to play it and use my video camera to tape it off the tv. That way I can upload it to YouTube and save it to my external hard drive, burn it to a DVD, and make it more permanent in every other way possible.
But until then...I found it on YouTube! Ahhhh, sweet relief!
The other day, while kissing Gia's boo boo, a song popped into my head. It's one I haven't actually heard in about 10 years and I don't remember really liking it much at the time it was popular.
These are days you’ll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this
And as you feel it,
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you
These days, though, it's kinda my mantra.
The other day Gia was playing in the playroom, all by herself. Every few minutes I'd hear "Ouch!" and she would run into the kitchen (which is right next to the living room that we turned into a playroom) and show me her boo boo. First it was a little hand bumped against the wall and then it was a stubbed toe, and later the tiniest scratch on her pinkie finger. Each time she'd insist that I kiss the boo boo and of course, I'd oblige. And after every single kiss she'd say "That feels so much better mommy!"
And then I'd melt.
See, all of a sudden it hit me that these days--the days when a kiss from mommy is all it takes to make everything all better-- are probably closer to being over than I can even imagine. Or want to imagine, for that matter. It simultaneously warms my heart and breaks it.
She's growing up too fast. One day soon she won't want to hold my hand, or cuddle with me before bed or tell me every single thought that crosses her mind. Until then, I intend to cherish as many of these little, seemingly mundane, moments as I can. I'm going to store them up in my memory and on this blog, so that one day in the not-so-distant future and I can look back and remember that she was once this little innocent cherub and I was the center of her universe. So, yes, these are the days.
