I recently found a blog and I fell in love with it. Well, actually, I re-found it. Last week I was reading one of the blogs I check out regularly and I was looking at the list of that blogger's favorite blogs. Lo and behold I was taken to this woman's blog. It said "If you're new, Start Here". So clicked the 'Start Here' link and I was taken to The Post. The Post -- aka the most popular post on the blog -- is the beautifully written birth story of the blogger's second daughter. I quickly realized that I'd read it before and, for some reason, I didn't bookmark it at the time even though I distinctly remember being moved by it the first time I read it. It seemed so fitting to me that I found this post again now -- when I'm just starting my journey as a blogger and trying to figure out the direction I want to take this ship, err...blog.
So back to my new found internet love. This woman's birth story is gut wrenching and beautiful and sad and joyous and truthful and honest. It's perfection to me. I wish I could write like this woman. I wish I could express my emotions in words the way she does.
I spent the next few days reading every post from the birth of her daughter (who just turned three) up to the present. In addition to being a gifted writer, she's also a really talented photographer, a crafting genius, and the photos of her children are just gorgeous. (If I didn't love her blog so much I might hate her.)
When something is really important to me, or when it's hitting a nerve, I need a few days to process things before I can put my finger on why exactly it's hitting a nerve. It doesn't matter if we're talking about something positive or negative -- I need time to think through things. So naturally it took me a little bit to figure out why, exactly, this blog hit home right now.
By the time I was finished reading nearly the whole blog, I had a much clearer sense of why I love this woman's blog so much. On the surface we don't have much in common, other than that we're both moms. She lives in Florida. She has 2 young daughters (one with special needs), 2 teenaged stepsons and a brand new baby boy. She doesn't work. Her style is eclectic and funky. Me? I live in suburban New York, have just Gia, I teach part time and while I love that funky eclectic style, I cannot pull it off. I'm much more matchy-matchy--Ann Taylor meets Banana Republic. But, here's the big thing: our philosophies on life are really similar. She chooses joy every day. She finds happiness in the small things. She knows that the small things are actually big things. She believes in making everyday life special. And ya know what? That's exactly what I think too.
That's not to say that things are always peachy around here. I have a two year old so I think it's safe to say that's impossible. But, I recognize how very blessed I am, and choose to be happy about this beautiful life I have. When Gia eats an entire bowl of Halloween candy before 9 am, I could rant and rave and worry about her not eating lunch. But I choose to laugh at it instead. (Bad example. Any way you slice it, that's just hilarious.) When Gia won't go down for a nap even though I know she's exhausted, of course I get frustrated. But most of the time I take a deep breath and try a different tactic. After all, she's a little person just trying to navigate through world and she needs my help. I try really hard not to focus on the negative. It doesn't always happen, but I really try.
The other amazing thing about this blog is that it's so beautifully written. It's pushing me to do even better things here, on my blog. I've always loved writing and, as I've mentioned before, this blog has been such an awesome creative outlet for me. Through Kelle's blog I've realized that while I definitely want to continue to write about my life and all the fun/silly/crazy things we do, I also want to dig a little deeper. There's more to the story, to my story and I want to explore it and share it.
So before I end this, it's time for a little confession. As I was in the midst of reading the blog and trying to figure out why Kelle's ideas resonated so much, I saw this meme somewhere (Facebook, I think). And that's what really sped up the thinking process for me. This is how I feel about life. I'll leave you with this little tidbit and challenge you to think about your philosophies. What are your beliefs about life and about motherhood?
And one more thing...what blogs do you regularly follow? I'm always looking for a new one to read!
I've been thinking about this blog lately, and about the fact that I write it. See, the thing is, I don't consider myself a writer. But I write this blog, so that kind of makes me a writer. And, I've even written a first draft of a novel. So that makes me a writer too, doesn't it?
And, thinking back over the course of my life, I've always been a writer. I've always had journals and I've always loved to write. I love crafting the perfect letter or even the perfect email. I love the challenge of expressing myself perfectly using written words and knowing that, even without my facial expressions or tone of voice to rely on, the reader will know just what I mean. And, one of my dreams has always been to publish a novel--ever since I was 11 or 12.
So back to the blog thing. I think I've mentioned before that I read a lot of other blogs. Like 40. Or maybe even 50. Most of them are mommy blogs. Some of the bloggers have sick children, some are regular moms, some are pregnant, some have a bunch of children, some are crafty, some are funny....they really run the gambit. Then there are few blogs I read that are dedicated to one of my favorite tv shows. (It's the Bachelor, ok? Total guilty pleasure.)
I love taking a peek into other people's lives and I really like to study the way other people write. There are a few blogs I read that I am just in awe of. These women write like their souls depend on it and they inspire me so much. There is such beauty in what they write. I've only been writing this blog for a few months, but already these women have had a profound impact on what I write, and how I write it.
I can't force myself to write in a way that isn't comfortable for me. Too cutesy annoys me. Too may fragments annoy me, even it is for stylistic effect. And forget major grammar errors--like nails on a chalkboard for me. And it goes the other way too. Some of these women are so philosophical and can put into words things that I can only feel and could never name. But still, I will glean whatever I can from them and integrate into my writing.
Can anyone out there relate? What's something you do but don't consider yourself a real "do-er" of it?
I'll leave you with this totally unrelated, yet adorable, picture of my baby girl asleep. So peaceful.
