Where is the love?

RIGHT HERE!   Yesterday was Valentine's day and it was such a fun day that I couldn't resist doing a whole post about it. Eventually I'll find time to upload and edit my 350 vacation photos and post them here, too. For now, check out the St Thomas Update post. I fixed the pictures so now you can actually see them.   Gia went to school yesterday morning. I made pink heart-shaped sugar cookies for her little school party. I have an awesome recipe with a secret ingredient that keeps the cookies super soft and makes them taste extra delicious.   (Want the recipe? Go to my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/TheQuinntessentialMommy like the page and then leave me a message and I'll send it to you.)

I spent an hour decorating them with icing and and M&Ms and forgot to take a picture. And then, on the way home, I put the Tupperware container of leftover cookies on the hood of my car and drove away with them up there. Oops.  I went back later that night and there was no sign of the container or the cookies. I gave up cookies for Lent, so perhaps this was God's way of keeping them out of my house? (Yes, giving up cookies is actually a sacrifice for me. I love love love cookies.)   I also sent little treat bags for Gia's classmates. I included the heart-shaped crayons, a few chocolate kisses (Gia's favorite) and some heart-shaped stickers.     

    Gia and I wore our matching shirts all day, which she got a kick out of. She said, "Mommy, you're the same!"

    At school Gia made Jon and me some Valentines. They are the cutest things ever and I totally teared up just looking at them.       We went out for dinner -- to our favorite Mexican restaurant. We were serenaded by the guitar playing waiter, and Gia loved it.      

      Then we came home and opened presents.   

    We usually just do very small things, but this year Jon let me pick out a special present (or two) from the Gucci store in St. Thomas. The prices were amazing and there was no tax. I saved about 15%. I wasn't allowed to have the stuff till we got home though, so yesterday I was thrilled to get my hands on my new wallet and new iPad case--both GG Shiny Leather in Bordeaux. Gorgeous! I also got an awesome shirt from St Thomas--one that I'd been eyeing all week.

  We got Gia a new cartridge for her Innotab, the movie Tangled and a Tangled cup. She had more fun ripping through the wrapping paper than she did with the actual gifts.      

      I got Jon a Christmas ornament in St. Thomas (we collect them), headphones for the gym (normal ones bc he hates earbuds) and....     I made him a heart shaped collage.  And had it framed.

  He loved it. (I have an Etsy shop --with nothing in it right now-- and plan to sell personalized versions of these in the very near future. Make sure you've like the FB page for updates!)    Hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day!  

Spoiled. Spoiled?

With the holidays just passed, I've been thinking (and talking--hi mom!) about the word spoiled. I've seen many pictures on Facebook of Christmas trees with so many presents around them there's no room for anything else in the room. In fact, for a split second it made me feel bad about the presents we got Gia. Did we get her enough? In comparison to many people we know, we barely got her anything.  But, I'm not in the habit of keeping up with the Jones, so I quickly dismissed that worry.

So when a friend asked me how badly we spoiled Gia this Christmas, I had to take a breath before I answered her.

See, the thing is, I hate the word spoiled. I'm an only child and I've been hearing it my whole life. People often assume that because I have no siblings, I must have been spoiled. Not the case. It's true that I didn't want for much as kid, but my parents absolutely taught me that I had to work to get what I wanted. They also taught me to respect others and to respect my belongings. If I trashed a toy or a pair of jeans, there wasn't a brand new one waiting for me.


So, when someone calls my kid spoiled, I bristle a little. Spoiled means ruined. It means "to diminish or destroy the value or quality of".  Surely a few toys are not going to ruin my child. Especially if I'm teaching her to value the things she has and to realize that there's much much more to life than the stuff we have.

But, there's also something else going on here and took me a little while to figure it out--to figure out exactly why the word spoiled gets me so riled up. It's because the word reeks of judgment. And no one likes to feel judged.

So then I wondered if maybe there's another word that we could use that wouldn't feel so judgey. The best I could come up with? Overindulged. Which is only marginally better. It stillsmacks of judgment. It's not up to me to decide if someone else's kid is overindulged. Because what looks like overindulgence to the outside may not be. We aren't a part of that family. We don't truly know. And so we shouldn't judge.

Easier said than done. I'll be the first to admit that I struggle with judgement. I try not to judge others, but it's not easy. I think it's human nature. First we compare ourselves to others and then, when we're different or our choices are different, we judge to make ourselves feel better.  It's not fair or right, but it happens.

So, back to the friend who basically called Gia spoiled. I wish I could say I had some really enlightened response for her. But honestly, it took me two days of good thinking time (I think best when I'm blow drying my hair) to figure out why all this irked me so much. So my response was something along the lines of "Actually we didn't spoil her. She got a few new toys and some clothes, but that was it."

Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for all that we can give Gia. But that goes way beyond the stuff we can provide. It's about the love and the happy home and the time and attention. Maybe next time that will be my response.

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For now I'll leave you with a few awesome pictures of my daughter in pigtails for the first time. When did she get old enough for pigtails?